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The 10 Days Of Premenstrual Misery

September 9, 2019

I’ve been doing a lot of long game crafting over the last couple of weeks for projects that won’t be completed until roughly November and December, so I won’t have much to write about here in the meantime unless I can set myself up to do some miniature painting, which I would absolutely love to do….. but we’re talking end of September at the earliest.

Also I’ve been making witch hats with this excellent pattern that I purchased on Ravelry and highly recommend.

So today without much else to write about, I thought I’d share something mildly amusing that I threw together after a couple of drinks Saturday night, while in the throes (still in the throes) of PMS. It’s meant to be sung to the tune of the 12 days of Christmas… (preferably after roughly half a bottle of wine) but 12 days was too many days, so it’s 10.

Apologies in advance for much potty mouth to follow.

Now when I was younger, I’d be symptomatic with PMS for 3 or 4 days max before all would be revealed… and I say all would be revealed, because as many women do, I’d think I was going completely batshit crazy before I remembered that I was actually due for my period.

Anyhoo… those 3 or 4 days have gradually gotten longer as I’ve settled into my mid 30’s. Now I’m up to roughly 10 days of bitched off misery before the floodgates open. My doctor says there is nothing to be concerned over… I’m just… ageing. HOOORAAAAY!!!!

Seriously….. the shit women put up with…

I recorded myself  semi-intoxicatedly singing the whole lot, but can’t figure out how to get it off of my phone and into this blogpost so I’m afraid all you’re getting is the written version.

I’ve had the fifth line yelling its way through my head for days…

Probably should illustrate it all at some point for funsies.

 

The 10 Days Of Premenstrual Misery

 

On the first day of PMS my hormones gave to me, Impossibly deep rooted acne.

On the second day of PMS my hormones gave to me….Hauntingly vivid dreams…. and Impossibly deep rooted acne.

On the third day of PMS my hormones gave to me, A gremlin gnawing on my uterus… Hauntingly vivid dreams… and Impossibly deep rooted acne.

On the fourth day of PMS my hormones gave to me, Ridiculously sore tits… A gremlin gnawing on my uterus… Hauntingly vivid dreams… and Impossibly deep rooted acne.

On the fifth day of PMS my hormones gave to me, GAS TO CHOKE A MULE…Ridiculously sore tits… A gremlin gnawing on my uterus… Hauntingly vivid dreams… and Impossibly deep rooted acne.

On the sixth day of PMS my hormones gave to me, Bloaty water retention… GAS TO CHOKE A MULE…Ridiculously sore tits… A gremlin gnawing on my uterus… Hauntingly vivid dreams… and Impossibly deep rooted acne.

On the seventh day of PMS my hormones gave to me, Another fucking yeast infection…Bloaty water retention… GAS TO CHOKE A MULE…Ridiculously sore tits… A gremlin gnawing on my uterus… Hauntingly vivid dreams… and Impossibly deep rooted acne.

On the eighth day of PMS my hormones gave to me, Disgusting night sweats… Another fucking yeast infection…Bloaty water retention… GAS TO CHOKE A MULE…Ridiculously sore tits… A gremlin gnawing on my uterus… Hauntingly vivid dreams… and Impossibly deep rooted acne.

On the Ninth day of PMS my hormones gave to me, Crippling anxiety… Disgusting night sweats… Another fucking yeast infection…Bloaty water retention… GAS TO CHOKE A MULE…Ridiculously sore tits… A gremlin gnawing on my uterus… Hauntingly vivid dreams… and Impossibly deep rooted acne.

On the Tenth day of PMS my hormones gave to me, A shitty public meltdown… Crippling anxiety… Disgusting night sweats… Another fucking yeast infection…Bloaty water retention… GAS TO CHOKE A MULE…Ridiculously sore tits… A gremlin gnawing on my uterus… Hauntingly vivid dreams… and Impossibly deep rooted acne.

 

And… then … things get messy…. ugh… womanhood.

From → Ramblings

2 Comments
  1. I adore it! Will pass it on to my daughter :)

  2. I adore it! Will pass it on to my daughter ;)

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