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When Your Handbag Becomes A Mombag

September 23, 2016

Once upon a time, (a very long time ago) I couldn’t be bothered carrying a handbag. If I had a pocket for my wallet, that was good enough.

Then eventually I started carrying a handbag regularly, as it became an essential item for me after entering the working world full force, however recently, I realized that over the last 4 years, my handbag has undergone a transformation that I was barely aware of, and it has become a Mombag.

You may be wondering, what the difference is between a handbag and a Mombag. Well it’s not the size of the bag… or the amount of crap inside… it’s the variety of crap that is inside, and how each piece of random crap has a backstory that ties back to a lesson learned in motherhood.

I thought that it would be amusing to dissect my  Mombag today to see just how much crap I carry around that is linked directly to having children.

mombag1

So the above photo represents what I would have had in my bag before our girls came along. Pretty boring, and what I imagine would be fairly typical for most women.

Wallet
Phone
Sunglasses
Pantyliner
Hairbrush with mirror on the back
Emergency folding shoes
Gum
Keys
Lotion
Pen
Emery board
Solid Perfume
Lip balm
Cough Drops

mombag2

This photo represents all the additional stuff I have accumulated since the girls came along….

  • The first and most important thing I must highlight is my bag organizer! (the big purple floppy thing) This is quite possibly the single best, long term Mom purchase I ever made… (Just keyword search “handbag organizer” in Amazon £2.99-£5.99)
  • There are three change purses. One for our grocery money, because budgeting is now more important than ever, one for spare shopping bags because you can never have too many spare bags, and one for band aids, hair ties, because I forget to put them in before we leave the house constantly, lens wipes for my glasses that are constantly covered in tiny fingerprints and a ziplock bag containing the tiniest little pair of undies you ever did see…. JUST IN CASE.
  • A travel pack of baby wipes, because I seriously do not know how I lived without these before children and I cannot fathom surviving without them now that I have children.
  • A fully charged emergency charger, because I am more paranoid than ever about not having a working phone on me in case of an emergency.
  • Antacids because children mean stress, and stress for me means tension headaches and gastrointestinal distress… there should also be ibuprofen tablets somewhere but I must have run out. (note to self)
  • More pens, pencils and a tiny note pad, because I can never find one when I need it and by “when I need it” I mean that I’m on the verge of completely losing my shit because the child requires entertainment… which brings me to my next point…
  • A Finding Dory craft kit for emergency entertainment. (unfortunately good for one use only) The hair brush doubles as entertainment for the baby, it’s seriously her favorite thing in the world besides her binky.
  • A tiny pot of Sudocrem, or as we like to call it “war paint” … because I’d rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Yes, there is more in the changing bag… but I just want to be REALLY sure. (see previous mention of lessons learned)
  • Emergency binky with protective cap that is not in any way impervious to fluff… but who the hell gives a flying fuck about a bit of fluff when you’ve got a screaming baby causing your ears to LITERALLY (well not literally..) bleed?
  • A pack of emergency toothbrushes… (long story involving the mayor of New Jersey and the biggest traffic jam I’ve ever encountered in my life)
  • Roll of emergency toilet paper. Yep.. you read that right… again, would rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it!
  • A pack of little paper thin soaps for single use hand washing, because hand washing is important, public restrooms are not always stocked… and public restrooms are an unfortunate inevitability when you enter the realm of parenthood.
  • GOOD tweezers… because of all the new little body hairs I’ve started to grow and randomly discover after my pregnancies.
  • A lighted mirror compact… (see above) also doubles as a child distraction in a pinch.
  • Random emergency snacks… this reminds me, need more raisins.
  • Tissues… SO MANY TISSUES… because little noses are actually little snot faucets… and these snot faucets explode without warning releasing abundant quantities of mucus in colors and consistencies that you did not even realize were possible… and if you don’t want those stringy puddles of goo coating yourself and everything you love… you better damn well have tissues.

mombag3

There should also be a miniature sunscreen in there but my last one was absconded with.

mombag4

And as you can see , on the outside of the Mombag I have a miniature hand sanitizer easily accessible at all times!

Funny how much your life changes in little ways that you don’t even notice until you have a moment to pause.

Would love to read any other Mombag or generally useful or totatlly random additions you may have to contribute!

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From → Mommy-ness

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